Most importantly, though, he has your eternal well being at heart. It starts with a simple “Can I ask you a question?” How could you turn down a man that has been so nice to you? All he wants is to ask you a question. That’s not such a hard thing. I always give in to my friend Tony Brown. Ask away, my friend.

“Are you a Christian?”

I really believe that variety is the spice of life, so this is where I try to mix it up a little bit. Sometimes I say yes, sometimes no, sometimes maybe. Sometimes I even pick another religion and proclaim it as my own. The great thing about Tony, though, is that he doesn’t care what my answer is. He’s happy to be my friend anyway and points out that we’re all brothers and sisters in the eyes of the lord (I’ve left this uncapitalized because I’ve yet to gather the gumption to ask Tony who his lord is).

And then he offers you the opportunity to do the most Christian thing in the world…give him some money.

You see, Tony lost his job at Duke Energy Center a month an a half ago. He was evicted two weeks ago. He’s not too upset about it because he has a job interview tomorrow, which is quite the feat given the economy. The only thing is, he hasn’t eaten in two days, so he wonders if you could spare some change so he can get something to eat.

I’m a good friend of Tony’s, though, so I don’t give him any money.

If I did, what would we have to talk about?